A nickel and a dime, a story and a crime, a lady on my mind; things that have two faces.

Grow up and don't be so quick to judge.

Head bowed, hands folded round, heart in his hands and mind in his eyes

I'm ready to start the new year with a renewed commitment to my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ.

Reflection. Revolution.

When a good mood goes bad, sometimes I just need to be sittin up in my room.

Time out.

The joys of being healthy (bka skinny-ish)

Having an honest to goodness neck and being able to adorn it without completely dwarfing it.

I need motivation to get off my bum and start moving (it)...the skinny series conception.  The new year will be soon upon us and this is my "don't want to repeat the same process expecting different results so I'm doing something different" thing. I'm much too lazy to hyphenate that phrase so please feel free to reread it if it didn't make sense the first time.

Midnight madness = declutter

Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go.

...Jesus take the wheel, please take it...

Because life doesn't have a do over button, I am even more thankful for repentance through faith in my Savior Jesus Christ.

Choir performance sunday dec 16 2012
I lost count on the last choral page between "more" and "amen" and then I ended amen early.
Those are the facts. I feel absolutely horrible for completely ruining the ending. Wanting to escape the disaster, I decided to end it abruptly instead of holding it the requisite 12 counts. Needless to say, my awesome choir was not prepared for my blunder.

Can I please be more humbled?

"I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure." Gandalf.

Me too bro, lol. Actually, I think I most identify with the hobbit.

There's a first time for everything. Today I can say I've been sacked. It was good while it lasted and it's time for something new.

Some day I'll figure out that food is not an acceptable remedy to boredom.

Q: What separates me from that day?

A: Me.

I didn't set my alarm this morning, but the uke enthusiast went off just before 9:30 :(

To:  the person who does the arrangements for Fifth Harmony

Would you pretty please give the girls the degree of difficulty worthy of a $5 million contract? I've heard a little bit of harmony, but not enough to live up to their name. If they can harmonize, then you have been doing them a disservice. If they can't, then there's no point keeping them in the competition.

[update]

I just saw the pepsi choice performance...THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT. Big ups to Dinah Jane.

[My mum playing the uke]

Me:  is that an A?
Mom:  yes
Me: are you using a different alphabet?

Ku ki kasi, fa, whatever the heck. Apparently that's how they play it in the islands.

I've been belting this song all weekend long. I'm finally almost over it. Almost.

"The beauty of finding yourself and knowing who you really are is that it allows others the possibility to know you as well." Ashley Greene in A Warrior's Heart

"Integrity simplifies our lives" M. Russell Ballard

"Can Ye Feel So Now?"

Posted: 03 Nov 2012 08:00 AM PDT

"When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is repentance. Commitment and repentance are closely intertwined."

—Quentin L. Cook, ""Can Ye Feel So Now?"", Liahona and Ensign, November 2012 Topics: Repentance, Commitment

I woke up this morning and this was the first thing I read. It has been stick in my head ever since, talk about a call to repentance.

And I support this message

Ann Coulter on Piers Morgan:  Everyone wants to be black.

After the third debate:  I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

This lady cracks me up. I agree, the word police is getting out of hand. Sometimes I wish I was as gutsy and die hard in not only believing and knowing but also defending those things to the death.

"I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashion," Lillian Hellman.

It's a struggle to be politically correct; those rules and regulations are constantly changing. I'm not offended by her use of the word because I occasionally do the same. When I use the term I do not think of special needs kids or adults BUT I would be more sensitive about it if I did have a mental or physical disability. I have tried to stop using the term, especially after the TV campaigns to stop saying it, and it requires continued effort; out of respect for some of the sweetest people I know, I'm willing to keep trying.

Epiphany:  Guys are so much more attractive well dressed as opposed to half naked. The same is probably true about women, but popular culture doesn't want us to believe that.

I have a few business casual tops, mostly purchased in order to comply with company dress codes. These tops double as church attire and "dress up" options, so they get a lot of wear. I enjoy going through the Women's Fashion boards on Pinterest and liking/repinning outfits and shoes. Today I went through some other categories and landed in Men's Fashion. I love those knit sweaters that remind me of Oxford professors, I don't know what they're called. I don't pin those things because there's no need for future reference, but in admiring how the outfits, and by extension the people wearing them, are put together I was struck with my epiphany. The shirtless pins on Men's Fashion weren't as awesome as a well-dressed, debonair photo. (Disclaimer:  Okay, so there was a picture of a guy with suspenders that caught my eye.)

Anyway, this is me saying I might be ready to put myself together, style-wise. I'm getting older and it feels like my go-to outfit, a t-shirt and basketball shorts, is ready for an upgrade.

Sleep. Work.

I did something bad the day before. I let other people's success and happiness be a stumbling block to my joy. I slipped into the cavernous wormholes of Facebook and started creeping on people from my past. They seem to be very happy, fulfilled, successful individuals and instead of stopping at being happy for them, I progressed to being discomfited for myself. 

Go back to 10/20/2011 - my life was very much the same.

Go back to 10/20/2010 - ditto

Go back to 10/20/2009 - same

Go back to 10/20/2008 - setting up for the same

I've done some great things in the last four years and progressed a lot in certain aspects, but the one that got me down the other day was more of a professional dilemma.

"Whatever our vocation, we should be sweetened, not hardened."

A couple of years ago I heard a talk by Neal A. Maxwell and in it he said, "Whatever our vocation, we should be sweetened, not hardened." I had become a robotic employee, only concerned with my own responsibilities and not very enthusiastic for venturing out of that realm. I listened to that statement and decided it was just for me. I took an active role in my team position and felt a difference in my satisfaction in a day well spent.

Today, and if I'm being honest for the last year, it doesn't seem like enough. I'm a year away from a teaching credential I don't desire, if the requirements remain the same; four years with a company that has been relatively good to me; and ten years with a boss who challenges and tries me, and generously compensates my time.

There's my professional state of the unit ( me ) address. I'm still figuring it out and some days I wish someone would just tell me "you're supposed to do this", but in the meantime I'm taking it day by day. I hope to be able to update this post soon with some kind of resolution, but until that time...

Sweet by and by.

I don't know the issues

This 2012 election is spilling into Facebook. I decided to like propaganda spigots on both sides of the fence to see if I could, however lazily, remedy my ignorance. The result: I still don't know the issues. I'm going to have to put in some actual work - fine.
Pre-research, here are my observations:
The commercials are annoying, thank goodness for my dvr.
Obama's camp keeps saying Romney is sending jobs overseas. The USA can't expect to maintain their position as one of the most powerful nations in the world and NOT expect to change. The rest of the world is stepping up their game, starting with education; we need to do the same.
We're always looking for a good deal, why should we fault business owners for following suit. Don't waste time blaming them for finding other business opportunities; instead, let's raise the bar here. Let's not settle for barely making it through hs or doing just enough. Let's find ways to make ourselves more valuable in the job market.
I truly believe that we need to change our paradigm. Making education a top priority is the key to reviving our country's economy. Yes, professional sports are awesome, but how many of us take that employment route and how long can that last? Sure, college isn't for everyone. There are other ways to get specialized training.  Let's find a way to encourage innovation and entrepreneurship instead of settling for the same old same old. When we educate and inspire our kids, their ideas and breakthroughs will stimulate our economy. Let's make an investment in our future!
Look into the mirror and place blame where it rightly lies. When we become stagnant, we can't expect the world to wait for us. The world keeps moving and changing and we have to do the same.
But I don't know the issues.
P.S.  I want to disclose the fact that I am in an industry that has been outsourced. In my own company, I've weathered the threats of lay offs due to outsourcing. I regularly work with vendors overseas and they are competent and efficient. It is very plausible that our company could be totally moved offshore and years later that threat hasn't been enough to put a fire under my bum. I  know I need to make a change, I'm just not sure what to do next.

TV Junkie

TV and I go back, waaaay back. A lot of my childhood memories involve me or my family surrounding a TV. My mum had a huge obsession with soap operas and the Oprah show. Yes, her TV schedule occasionally meant she was late or didn't show up to pick me up from school. Yes, before DVR I would grudgingly walk away from the TV to pick her up from places too.

We recently switched from cable to Directv and I got the DVR (woot woot!) so I've been recording anything that's remotely interesting. Here's a list of my newest addictions:

Rugby

The X Factor

American Colony:  The Hutterites

New and old movies

National Geographic everything

Heartland

Revolution

Leverage

Revenge

Reality TV

Covert Affairs

The Glee Project

Opening Act

Rugby is my newest favorite sport. I love watching the teams from New Zealand because they have heaps of islanders and I like to copy their announcers' accents. I picked a bad time to watch the Australian 7's on Sunday night. It was after 11 p.m. and while the rest of the world was winding down, I was desperately trying not to scream at the players in frustration/celebration. I love the format of the 7's. The games are really fast so the teams have to stay focused.

As I was typing that last paragraph Extreme Cheapskates started; yes, I'm watching TV as I type this. I like to save a buck here and there and I've never seen the show so I was intrigued. The cheapskate of this episode has lived in New York for three years and she has the worst case of penny pinching I've ever seen. 

She saves the paper towels she uses in public restrooms because her hands were clean when she dried them - so the paper is clean too. She keeps a container of water, soap and those used paper towels next to her toilet so she can clean up at home - no toilet paper here. She showers with her clothes to save herself from having to do laundry. She dresses up like a bum to go dumpster diving for food - and then serves it to her guests! "When I dumpster dive I get the opportunity to eat really high end foods that I would never pay for." At least she has standards. She chooses to dumpster dive at high end restaurants and stores. 

There are more shocking details, but the thing is, she doesn't live this way out of necessity. She owns her condo free and clear and seems to have a successful career as a CPA. She had a great career until the dot com failure so ever since then, she's been trying to avoid paying for anything or pay the least amount possible if she absolutely has to pay for it. I wonder what she does with her money.

The next episode intro:  "I save money if I only flush it once a week." Whaaaaat?! I'm gonna go be disturbed on my own. I invite you to figure out how you can save more of your money.

Extreme Cheapskates.

Australia 7's

40 to 5, advantage NOT to U.S.A. There will be more on my directv obsession with lakapi in a future post. I shouldn't have started watching this game right before bed. It makes me a little less happy to be  a U.S.A. born Samoan. Scotland, yeah whatever.
I like the 7's because it's more gritty and fast paced.

Sweetest dreams.

I'm in the bathroom and out the corner of my eye I notice this spider in the tub trying to make it up one of the corners. This lil guy has tried and failed so many times that I'm almost rooting for him; I have a soft spot for underdogs. I considered helping him, but what else is he going to do? What would that teach him? This spider was persistent; I should be more like him. This spider wasn't trying anything new; that was dumb. This girl is on fire...FIRE. I like that song. That makes the spider a dude.

My mum's first text message to me:

Hurray! I'm glad have fun and be safe out there. I hope the weather is awesome.

Love

Mom

She has come a long way since her first text to my sister (there's another blog detailing that little eye opener - my mom and technology do mix!). I sent a quick text to her letting her know that Nahdia and I arrived safe and sound in Las Vegas, NV. I didn't expect anything super flowery back, but I was pleasantly surprised when I read her reply. Flowery, you ask? Well, in our family, that's as good as a dozen roses! We're not emotionally demonstrative - especially verbally - so I'm going to save this text to remind me of how tender my mum can be.

There's an LDS song by Janice Kapp Perry that has to do with lessons learned at mother's knees. Here are a few my mother has tried to instill in me:

"You're no one's door mat"

Piano

Singing

Quilting - that was short lived

Carrot Cake Baking

Watching TV

Fried Eggs - I still burn myself so I opt for the easier scrambling method

Style - I believe if she could add her two cents she'd say I'm still learning this one

Walking in heels - she swears I can do it, but I feel like a new born colt trying to balance in those torturous contraptions. I get my wide feet from her and my long feet from my dad. I would shop in the tranny section if my sense of balance wasn't so lacking.

Save things, they might be useful some day, if not for you, then for someone else - trying to unlearn this one

Appreciation for good food

Dedicated church service

Doctors and medicine are good

Speak up

Ask

Word of Wisdom - no pepsi/coke, haha

She isn't perfect and this list is obviously incomplete, but I reserve the right to do a little censoring in my mum's behalf. I'm grateful for the good and not so good lessons. 

Cheers to my mum - 64 years of knowledge and experience - 40 years of marriage - 36 years of motherhood - 29ish years of homemaking and a lifetime of walking to the beat of her own drum. I think I can attribute some of my uniqueness and all around weirdness to her owning her personality.

Luv you old lady!

Food run.

guau, guau, guau

The first time I heard a hispanic person make a dog sound I laughed and then I said, "Dogs don't sound like that." I admit it; I have embarrassing, stereotypical American-arrogance tendencies.

bark, ruff, arf!

I spent this past weekend with friends from Seattle. I crashed a beautiful wedding - congratulations to 'Ese & Lorieal - practiced some Spanish and infected the aforementioned friends and their family with my Ode to Kiwi's accent. By the end of the second day even their toddler and grandmother were dropping some Kiwi flavored phrases. We were viral to the point the same toddler eventually complained to his mum, "Why are you talking like them?" Sorry boo.

Have you been watching X Factor? I love Willie Jones' Louisiana accent. I think that would be fun to try on for a couple of days.

Accents I'd like to test drive:

1. Irish brogue

2. Louisiana

3. Pidgin

4. Bostonian

5. African english

6. Georgia-n (the state)

7. Russian

8. Indian

9. Scottish

10. Kiwi!

Obviously learning the languages is do able, but would take me a long time and a whole lot of effort. My intent is to master the lingering accents their first language or culture causes when they speak English. I think it's fascinating how the same language can be personal and region-specific - LOVE IT - and that somewhere someone's version of English could be totally over my head. Oh yeah, how could I forget jamaican!

Sleep. Work.

Do you do this?

1. Look at the tissue after blowing your nose
2. Prefer to wait 'til the toilet seat loses lingering warmth
3. Have full on Spanish conversations in the car, by yourself
4. Fake a Kiwi accent to the point it annoys even the children in your company
5. Sing the same four lines over and over as you shower
6. Try to speak Samoan, only to be frustrated by repeatedly finding the Spanish word in your mind's catalog first
7. Mimic the sounds around you (elevators, car alarms, instruments, etc.)
8. Laugh out loud at random moments, sometimes inappropriately, because a great memory just crossed your mind's center stage
9. Go shoe shopping with friends so you can make them try on all the shoes you wish you could fit
10. Sing at the top of your lungs (what's goin' on?)

Then you and I have something in common. I saw this channel on Youtube that lists a bunch of random 10s. The video I watched was the 10 top insurance policies for body parts. Mariah Carey owns the number one spot. Her legs are insured for $1 billion. I don't think her legs are all that. I have AD&D insurance too!

Leverage and pins.

Recently I asked some friends to share with me their first embarrassing memories. Please enjoy their stories below. 

Just kidding. It's funny that of all my embarrassing memories, my earliest is probably something only I remember.

My uncle and cousin picked me and Nahdia up from elementary school one warm, sunny day. My mum was always sending people to get us with no advanced warning. It's a wonder we never got abducted. 

On our way home Uncle Roger stopped an ice cream trolly to buy us a treat. Nahdia and I stayed in the car and my cousin brought back two ice creams. He handed me one and I opened it straightaway. Seconds later, he ran back and asked for the ice creams. I was befuddled. I believe to that point in my life, no one had ever handed me food with the expectation to get it back. I didn't know what to do. I gave him the precious, partly eaten ice cream (I don't think I licked it; my dad always told us to "bite" ice cream) and Nahdia handed hers out to him. A few minutes later my uncle and cousin came back to the car, handed me the repossessed ice cream, I don't know if Nahdia got another one, and we headed home. I thought I had done something terrible and I don't remember anyone trying to make me feel better about it either. I do remember thinking the whole world was staring at me and feeling like a major oinker.

My uncle stayed at the house a while to chat up my mum, but I hid out in my parents' room. I was mortified.

People have since learned that if I'm given something for me,  I will assume I can use it.

Primetime TV.

What's cool for five minutes? Caller, you're on the air.

Detailing a car.

Using my dad's weed whacker.

Some dates.

A teacher's lesson.

Going running.

An "En Zed" (NZ) radio station asked callers to give examples of things that were cool for five minutes. Some of the answers were hilarious, the running one especially. Think about it. You lace up your shoes, grab your music and head out for a nice piece of exercise. If you're big like me, you don't get very far before your run turns into a jog-walk and eventually you might as well be in a stroller for as fast as you're crawling (I picture wheelchairs being much faster). You can't turn back because your neighbors already saw you. What are they gonna think if you pass by again so quickly? "Aye what a lazy az. He can't even run for 5 minutes."

Or how about those tasks you start hard out, sure you're going to dominate and get 'er done? Then five minutes later, all those tiny pieces of trash between the seats don't seem so important. After whacking yourself a couple of times (I used to have the scars to prove it), the grass doesn't seem to be that great of a visual offense. The girl or guy across from you isn't as attractive once words start flowing out of their mouth. A teacher's attention getter is about the only interesting portion of the class period.

I have good memories of starting something only to be bored or overwhelmed after the first five minutes. Sometimes only my pride keeps me in the game. No way Jose, I'm not gonna give them the satisfaction of knowing that I'm truly over cutting this grass. I'm gonna finish it if it kills me. And while I do it, I'm gonna whack up these crab apples and hit them in the legs. I was somewhat of a ballbuster sister missionary. Oh, I didn't mention that was a mission experience?

Tears and ice cream.

I like analogies, food analogies in particular. I have been teaching choir songs for a little over a year now. It's not customary to have a young choir mistress, especially in a Samoan ward, but I am; and there you have it!

One of my funnier teaching moments involved dynamics and McDonald's portion sizes. I told them not to be stingy with their super size (ff), large (f), medium (mf), small (mp). We never really got past mezzo piano because it's very difficult to get consistent sound when they're singing any softer than "soft". I used to yell out "SUPER SIZE" or whisper "small". They laughed, but were very compliant.

A few Sundays ago I took too much advantage their good humor. I told them, "when I close my hand you close your mouth." I didn't realize how rude I was until I saw someone snicker at me. I do believe they let me get away with too much.

Anyway, back to the food analogies. The speakers in sacrament talked about faith and as I heard their messages I had the following funny thought. Here's the bit I recorded on my phone:

Faith is like food the Lord continually puts in front of us. If we ignore it, what happens to the food? It spoils and then the Lord puts another plate in front of us. The process goes on and on, He doesn't give up on us, don'tcha know. What will happen to us? We'll starve and our faith will get so skinny and weak that eventually we won't recognize it.

I giggled silently to myself as I thought out my newest food analogy.

Downton Abbey.

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." Elbert Hubbard

I'm currently reading a FREE e-book from Amazon called Kicking Eternity by Ann Lee Miller. One of the lines briefly caught me by surprise and I had to think about it a minute. It goes something like this:

"You need to have three friends, one who is more mature, one who's an equal, and one to mentor."

At first I thought, yeah that's cool. Then it bothered me so I asked Nahdia, "Do you have a friend who is more mature than you?" She was caught off guard, I mean, this is deep conversation to do over laundry. She kind of mumbled a response. I followed up with, "Do you have one who's an equal?" She said, "You." [I'm flattered! She is one of my most favorite people in this world and ever after] "Do you have one you mentor?" She didn't get to answer this one because I started laughing. She asked what brought on all the questions and I mentioned I read it in a book. I went on to explain my general feeling that a well rounded friendship wouldn't be stuck in neat little categories.

Exhibit "A":  There are times when Nahdia's wisdom reaches light-years farther than mine. In other instances we are equally matched. And then there are moments when I get to be the mentor.

Not convinced? Let's try another friendship.

Exhibit "B":  Rina is a friend from the last year and half. We've become very close in a short time, partly because we are very similar:  equals. In other aspects, Rina's maturity, kindness, homemaking abilities, desire to serve, etc. eclipse mine in a very marked way. Then there are sprinkled moments when I am able to step into the mentoring role.

Okay, here's one more. I feel like I'm writing a legal description.

Exhibit "C":  I've been friends with July for, phew, about nine years. We are so similar in temperament and cognition that it's difficult to even believe we don't spend much time in each others' company. We get together, spill our guts, receive counsel and leave feeling someone outside of the family or work, outside of the immediate situation understands how the other is feeling--all three "types of friends", on both sides, in one sitting. It's wonderful!

A well balanced friendship has to be pliable. A good friend is humble enough to receive and give counsel. A good friend is comfortable keeping you company and being on your level. The friendship evolves and roles change.

It's a new theory and I have to work out the kinks but it works for me.

----

In a totally unrelated matter, I wrote out assignment cards for my primary kids to do opening exercise next Sunday. I realized I may have misspelled a word and it's bugging me. Heterophones! English is the hardest language to learn, apparently.

I think I wrote:

______________ is sharing a testimony next Sunday blah, blah, blah.

I may have written:

______________ is bearing a testimony next Sunday blah, blah, blah.

If so, I should have written:

______________ is baring a testimony next Sunday blah, blah, blah.

Heterophones: two or more words that sound the same, but are spelled differently.

Serves me right after laughing over the use of 'minus', 'mind as' and 'mine as' in place of might as. As in I might as well go to sleep since it's getting late.

Confessions and friends.

Nothing exposes our true selves more than how we treat one another in the home.

-Joseph B. Wirthlin, April 2005, The Virtue of Kindness

A "bird" by any other name

M.S.A.

It's not a gang, virus or credential. It's the designation for members of the LDS church whose relationship status is single and age is 30s to 40s. It stands for Mid Single Adult. 

This evening I attended my first MSA fireside. I was inspired, uplifted and walked away with a desire to travel to Nauvoo and experience some church history. Every July the Nauvoo Pageant puts on a show about the early members of the church, their faith and the construction of the Nauvoo temple. 

The guest speakers served as Public Affairs couple missionaries for 18 months and they shared experiences and promotional clips. My mind was wandering, nothing out of the ordinary, and it wasn't so much the words they shared, but the zeal they had for the work and for the gospel that enthralled me. They have beautiful spirits and I'm definitely a fan. When one of the organizers introduced them she promised us the couple was awesome, that we'd thank her for getting them to speak and that we'd love them. I agree on all three accounts. The wife was first to speak and she started with, "It's okay if you don't love us." We all laughed and her humility and great-nature quickly won the crowd over.

As far as my first MSA experience goes, I felt very young. I'm not quite 29, but I feel excessively aged in the YSA, so I decided to see what I may get to look forward to. I made myself stop people-watching, tough to do when others blatantly gawk at your friends, and be there for the message. I know that's the way things are supposed to be, but I love to observe [the MSA animals in their wild habitat] and it's hard not to do that in a place where it's normal to turn about and be highly distracted.

Nancy and I met a girl affectionately called Pakosina by her Fijian relatives. I guess that means white dove in Fijian, I know it means white duck in Samoan. We were unaware that we were still using our Kiwi accents in this first meeting and Pakosina thought it was real. I think it's so funny when people think we're from overseas. I want to try an accent that would be totally off with my brown skin. I have my eye and ear on the Irish Brogue!

R and more R.

When Crickets Cry

by Charles Martin

Did I mention I love audiobooks? About four years ago I was listening to a talk given by Elder Groberg, the one who served a mission in Tonga, in which excerpts from the movie, The Other Side of Heaven, were used to illustrate some of his talking points. I had previously seen the movie so listening to the dialogue and sound effects created a cinema type effect and I watched the movie in my mind's eye. It was around the tail end of the craze over the Twilight Saga books that I decided to give it a go in audiobook format and I've been hooked ever since. For some reason, reading a physical book with 300+ pages is still daunting to me, but listening to a 20+ hour audiobook is right up my alley.

My first audiobook was Twilight and the rest of the saga soon followed. I dabbled in YA fiction, Adventure, Romance, Self Improvement, Finance, Classical Literature and the like, but my favorite genre to date is Christian Fiction. I don't much appreciate adaptations from the Bible, but maybe I just haven't come across one that I like. I do love contemporary and historical Christian fiction, especially sprinkled with romance. 

I finished When Crickets Cry today. Here's the test of whether or not an author or narrator is appreciated:  How long did it take before you looked for another one of their works? It took me about six hours, but I was working part of that time. There was just enough back story for each character to get me invested. I've noticed that Oasis Audio mostly produces clean, Christian audiobooks and after having more misses lately in the choosing of audiobooks, I decided to play it safe with an OA book. Enter the crying crickets...

Read this book in a place you're comfortable crying, sobbing, waving your arms, covering eyes, laughing out loud; read this book in the privacy of your bedroom. The ending confused me at first, but I believe it was meant to surprise and prick you, to make you think. This book is about service, determination, loyalty, love and forgiveness. I would give it a 4.2 out of 5 Audible stars.

If I could go back and read this all over again for the first time, I would do it one sitting. Picking it up again (being on the waiting list for three or four weeks will do that to you) was slow at first, because it took me a little while before I remembered one of the minor characters. All in all, I wish I hadn't read it so I could read it again for the first time.

I've come across some of my favorite quotes while listening to audiobooks. Here are a few:

"No one's free, and those who think they are just haven't thought about it long enough." Ada in The Hope of Refuge by Cindy Woodsmall

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known god." Cory ten Boom

"Either your faith in God is absolute or it's worthless." Song of Redemption by Lynn Austin

"Things can be cleaned and replaced. Great moments cannot afford to be lost." Cindy Woodsmall

"Blood isn't love." Cassandra Clare

"A woman without her history is a fool." Lani Wendt Young

"Fuzzy caterpillars change; snakes don't." Kara in The Harvest of Grace Cindy Woodsmall

This one is from a NUMB3RS episode, but it's still funny:

David to Colby S04E13

"You, my friend, are a prisoner of high standards and low social skills."

What he said.

I had a dream...

My older sister had a baby and I was finally a legitimate [not that I would ever be called an illegitimate] aunt! It was a good dream and I woke up with a brief, happy memory of it. Brief. Less than one hour later the first sentence of this blog is the only morsel I retain. Efforts to recall more lead to nowhere and I'm pretty much resigned to the short piece that I have. Pretty much. Haha, does that bug?

I used to be a fanatic about taking notes. I made sure to download COLOR NOTE on my phone because it's awesome and helps me organize the epiphanies, funny episodes, lists, etc. of which I need to keep track. I have fallen out of this habit and the result is great ideas lost to the abyss of my forgetfulness. 

Exhibit "B"

On my way from Job 1 to Job 2, I thought of a great topic for today's blog but I didn't write it down and after racking my brain I still can't remember it. In the words of  Professor Dumbledore, "It does not do to dwell on dreams, but yet to live. Remember that." I'll take comfort in that statement and move on.

I love audiobooks and today I finished Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. This second attempt was way more enjoyable than my first and I'm actually excited to start the Chamber of Secrets. The narrator Jim Dale is amazing and he does a remarkable job with Hagrid's voice in particular. The one drawback is my feigned Kiwi accent is becoming more British after listening to him for over 8 hours. I would love to listen to a book read by a Kiwi!

Here are some quick photos from the movie. [I like pictures on the blog. Pinterest and media in general have wired me for visual stimulization.]

 I really like the contrast in size between Harry and Hagrid.

One of my favorite scenes:  Not Slytherin.

Donuts Rina.

Me:  Who are you gonna text?

Mum:  I don't know. You guys!

Me:  I don't want to get texts from you.

Mum:  Eh, just show me.

[after the demonstration]

Mum:  So what do I do?

Me:  [frustrated] Touch the applications icon

Mum:  Like this?

Me:  No, the middle one.

Mum:  I am, but it's not working.

Me:   Watch where you touch, your fingers are big.

Mum:  [a little miffed]  What?

Me:  I mean, we all have big fingers. 

Her first text:

What's upM?

What the heck? Now I really don't want to get text messages from her. My mum finally entered the 21st century with her mobile phone. When a cell phone is cheaper than a landline and your 64 year old mum has to adjust to a touchscreen smartphone you know you've entered a different era.

My older sister came over tonight to visit and all I hear from the living room is...

Mommy?! What are you doing?

Mum:  I'm practicing

Buffy:  Stop taking pictures of me!

Haha. We've created a monster. I hope she doesn't figure out how to turn the shutter sound off!

Dinner Rina.

Thanks to Adam and Eve, we have to wear clothes. Oh yeah, and thanks to them we were also born, so I guess we're even.

Every two weeks, sometimes three, I gather the mental and physical wherewithal to load up the Willy and drag my three to four loads of laundry the next city over. It's possibly a conspiracy hatched by the local land developer that the only non-owner laundry facilities in the city belong to its apartment communities. Someone could make a killing if they opened a laundromat here that charged reasonable rates. Even when I did live in the apartments, I sometimes opted for a short drive and a savings of at least $3 to $5.

A little over a year ago one of my soccer teammates shared a homemade laundry detergent recipe with me. It's pretty simple (check out onegoodthingbyjillee.com for the recipe and lots of other great money saving gems) and my mum is only half way through that original batch. I believe the cost of detergent per load is about four cents. Think about it. You buy a 96 load bottle of detergent for $6 and it costs you about six cents per load. For a dollar or two more you could make all the detergent you'll need for the rest of the year. It's pretty amazing, so amazing that my mother had to tell other people, who told other people who decided that the next enrichment evening at church (a time when all the adult women get together to share recipes and ideas) should be dedicated to homemade laundry products...to be led by yours truly. Hmmm. 

I have to say that I got a lot of help from a particular teammate - RINA! - or Raina, whatever she decides to be called that day. She was everywhere, doing everything, anticipating my needs and making sure the soap was being completed behind the scenes. I truly would've lost my mapos without her. Thanks Romeo!

We demoed a dry detergent, two liquid detergents and a fabric softener. In planning the night I worried that only teaching one laundry product would be too short and not a good enough reason for these sisters to leave their families for one night and use precious gas and time to show up to Enrichment. I decided to add a few more products to the line up and before I knew it, we had our four recipes -- probably one too many. There was great participation and lots of laughter. 

One particular incident involved me, a brand new bottle of V05 conditioner and overactive hands. The fabric softener recipe we used calls for 2 cups of conditioner, I think 3 cups of vinegar and some water. As I was soliciting assistance from the sisters they suddenly gasped and I belatedly realized that my excited hands had compressed the bottle of conditioner and a heaping flow was falling out of the top. That sister was a good sport, she got a healthy amount of conditioner on her hands as I passed her the bottle.

I also noticed that the sisters, all of whom are Samoan, do not honor the measurements of a recipe. 1 cup was more like 7/8 or 5/6 in almost every instance. Each sister went home with a few bottles of laundry samples to try and I'm hoping not to be approached on Sunday if some of those recipes weren't as effective as they should've been.

I have to say it was kind of fun, but I'm not sure that I would share any new discoveries with my mum. I'd like to avoid future tutorials if possible.

warm sleep

"I'm having a heat attack"

This is how my boss prefaced asking me to point the office fan at her. It has been a hot couple of weeks and I am so excited for my next California winter -- moderate temperatures between the 70s and 80s.

The winters between '06 and '08 were hands down the coldest seasons of my life. I was living in Utah at the time, serving a 19-month LDS mission. I remember bundling myself in pretty much anything I could get my hands on. I found a man's trench coat in my first apartment and even though I couldn't button it [stares down at the culprits - hips] I wore that jacket open over sweaters, 2 layers of shirts, skirts, shorts, crocheted socks under my tights, etc. 

I remember leaving the MTC on September 27, 2006 thinking I'd have plenty of time to shop for a decent winter coat, but the weather turned from fall to winter within the week and I was shivering me timbers until I pulled together the funds for a decent wool jacket. On a side note, plus size is very difficult to find at a thrift store.

Today we got a brief break from the heatwave we've been enduring, but the rain didn't last long. It's safe to say that I look forward to a typical California winter and I hope that it arrives quickly.

loads and soap.

At Monte Vista Elementary we took class pictures in two lines, one seated on blue benches and a standing line behind. Our names were listed from left to right underneath the printed photograph. I'm not sure if this was a replacement for a yearbook, but I do know that a yearbook at that time in my education would have been pointless. I don't remember most of those people and I think we could barely write.

In my kindergarten or first grade photo I'm seated front and center. I'm adorable! My full, shiny head of STRAIGHT hair is braided and still somewhat neat, it must've been toward the beginning of the school day. I'm wearing a white shirt and capri outfit with large, red hibiscus flowers all over, courtesy of my mum and her sewing machine. I think I was seated next to one of my best friends Stephen Espinoza, and to his right a girl, I think her name is Jessica, with a cute white shirt and black skirt is demurely seated. I remember staring at the photo as an adult and noticing that my calves are markedly more muscular than Jessica's, probably even than Stephen's, lol. It was at that point that I realized I was never really small. I was never made fun of for my husky build, in fact, I think maybe some of the boys were jealous! 

Fast forward 23 years, give or take, and husky has turned into obese. My friends and I enjoy a tennis game once in a while and today was the first game in over 6 months. After 20 minutes of "rally" I was exhausted. You know those weightloss TV shows where the trainer gets in the fatty's face and tells them to "man up", "give me more", "you can do it"? Yes well, I think I reached that point after the rally, but my awesome friends were ready for a best of seven tournament, really guys? Personally, I was ready to stop at best of three. In the end we worked out for a good 40 minutes...20 minutes past my quitting time if I were on my own that day. 

Great friends encourage you and don't let you give up on yourself...even when they don't know they're doing so much for you :) Thanks be to my soccer team!

snore alarm.

Open, Open, Open

I always thought these commercials were annoying. @0:28. Imagine my surprise when yesterday the perfect opportunity to use this chant fell into my lap.

We were sitting in primary, listening to Sis. Talili's respect-themed sharing time.

Jasmine: I'm gonna die alone.
Me: What?
Jasmine: Because I'm never getting married. I don't want to do the whole marriage, wife, mother thing.
Me: O.kay
Jasmine: [exuberantly] Do you live with your mom?
Me: Yes
Jasmine: I think I'm gonna do that.
[pause]

Me: You know, you may change your mind. You should leave your options open. You never know...
Jasmine: [serious face] Nope. All my options are closed. [more rambling about being alone]

She super caught me off guard. If it comes up again I'll be sure to mention that even single people aren't alone and encourage her to keep her options open, lol.

That's the extent of the Facebook coverage this exchange received. This experience reminded me that regardless of whether or not I'm trying to be an example, good or bad, people are paying attention. Jasmine's young and I'm sure she'll change her mind over and over again, realize her teacher isn't as cool az as she thought I was and establish her own pattern. She hasn't been dealt the easiest of hands, but she does have people who love and support her. I pray that she'll consider the full gamut of options before she decides to shut those doors.

racquets and shoes.

Who is it?

Hi! My name is Twailla. I wasn't quite ready to make this blog my namesake, but I decided stamping my name somewhere on it would inspire me to take some pride of ownership. 

Tango. Sierra. Mike. These are not people I know in real life, but they are my initials in the U.S. military alphabet. I'm United-States-ian. I never thought it was cool to call ourselves American, as if Canada, Mexico and the rest of the Americans didn't exist. Nevertheless, I have been known to call myself American. I am also LDS, Samoan, Californian and inquisitive.

LDS - aka a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am a gospel library/mormon channel app, seminary, girls camp, YSA, all of the above Mormon. Probably tied with my ethnic heritage, this "me" fact has had the greatest influence on who and how I am.

My people are from Samoa. I was born in the U.S. I am a second generation American. It's amazing how much a language and culture can be lost in just one generation. I don't speak Samoan and my appreciation for ethnic dance didn't come until later in life (this life that is not quite 30 years long :P). I can tell you one thing:  I eat like a Samoan!

I was born and raised in California! Coastal weather; an ethic, tossed-salad community; amusement parks; and beach days characterize my SoCal experience.

I like facts and niggling questions bother the heck out of me. I have been known to settle many a dispute via Google, mostly mid conversation. Only tried and tested individuals are taken at their word, and even that is rare; all others are verified (or nullified) by Google; Wikipedia; Yahoo! Answers, etc.

This feels like a profile or some other here I am, look at me attempt, but isn't that what all blogging is about? A record of who you are; what you've done; where you've been; how you think and when it's all done, you've got a neat, chronological "Exhibit A" for why you are the way you are. Unless, of course, you're not being truthful.

So there you have it:  your first glimpse into the jumbled, beautiful mind (it's all relative), of Twailla. There goes the neighborhood ;)

Lazy Labor Day